Seaxe and Sorcery Forums

Hi guys and dolls of Seaxe.

Yet again, I've been doing a late one here at TheVikingStore, and it made me think about life, and existance, I seem to get the most work out of myself in the Twilight hours, and throughout the night (No idea why I just seem to be able to get more done) but also, this time, when all is silent, begins to make my mind ponder things which quite often I don't.

While jogging (at 3am) around my local area and near the forests of Epping, I realised, that in my young life, I have done so much, I have been to many locations of the globe, climbed a mountain, studied, rown long ships, acted in movies, acted on stage, risked life and death several times, and of course, my latest achievement, at the young age of 23 (Now 24) I began a business venture in doing something I love, and inspires my life greatly.

However, with all of these things, I do feel its suffice to say I've lived.

I'd just like to say that there are key individuals in my life, which have inspired me, in what ever form, in what ever manner here at seaxe, to be here where I am today, successful and happy.

Anyway to the point of the question, there are still three very important things, Quests, or life long goals which I still have yet to achieve or experiance.

1. To Get Married (Sad I know).
2. To be a Father.
3. To have my own Castle.

The question I ask you lot is, is there anything still on the horizon for you? What are your quests and aims for the future, or do you feel that you've got everything you want.

My second question is, Fatherhood, in your opinion, is it all its cracked up to be?

I find myself getting more 'clucky' the older I get, and this is a question I commonly ask Gary and Keri, so I thought i'd open it up to everyone and see how they feel (If you fancy answering).

many thanks.

I personally would like to get into work as an immediate concern but further in the future for me is certainly marriage. Not sad at all when you consider that you're looking for (in most cases) a lifelong partner to be the other part of yourself - depending on what you believe, the other part of your soul. That's not something I'd ever consider to be sad ^_^

I'm also of the opinion that a woman's greatest gift is to be a Mother. Not sure what others think but I get very maternal around this time of year particularly when there seem to be babies everywhere. I tend to turn to mush and all you can get from me for a while is random babbling with the occasional word like "tiny" or "cute" eventually followed by "I want one" sometimes.

Unfortunately I'm not much of a help where it comes to fatherhood - funny that - but I can deinitely attest to needing a fatherly figure in my life, however many mistakes they make.

I've only recently thought about moving out of my parents house - when I was younger marriage and house seemed to just appear together without much thought of details. However, a castle would be awesome - as long as it had a proper hedge maze. I tend to be fussy about that for some reason.

Right now though - I seem to have lost a lot of focus in my life and I've been in the process of trying to find myself again and get back in control of a plethora of problems that have plagued me for years. Until I essentially went clinically insane (I was about to be sectioned) I never really understood the idea of "You have to go back in order to go forwards"

Still, I'm going to start rambling and I'm not entirely sure of what I'm saying so I guess I'll update when I have a better idea and the adequate words to express it.

Hmm, well I have done an awful lot in my life too.

In the space of three months, while in New Zealand, I climbed mountains, have been under the earth potholing for 8 hours, bungee jumped twice, zorbed, white-water rafted, skydived (tandem), hiked for several days and had legs that quite literally ceased up and refused to work for days after with after-effects for the next 6 months where my legs would stop wanting to bend at the knee. Somewhat painful! but worth it!

There have been other things I have done but this three-month period of my life was the pinnacle and one I will never ever forget.

Well then. Bringing us up to current times - I asked my Sarah to marry me on Christmas day (2009) and we are well on our way to being married in August with less than 100 days to go! I am doing up my flat to sell it as if we are to start a family we will need a bigger place and while we currently can't afford to Buy a decent place we will rent for a couple of years (even though I hate the thought of lining someone else's pocket), save up money, pay off loans and creditcards and get a decent house when the economy is (hopefully) better and we have a sizeable deposit.

As to family. Well. I've worked for Pixifoto for 9 years now (far too fricking long!) so i work with babies and children all day and I know what they can grow up to be like. For Good And Bad. I've seen some darlings, and I've seen some scrots. And it all comes down to the parenting. Or most of it - sometimes outside influences change kids but on the whole if the parents (and supporting family) have layed the foundations a child won't go so far off the rails as to not be able to come back on track again.

Am I broody? hell yeah! my brother already has two girls, and my sister just recently (1st April) had a little boy, Joshua. Holding him for the first time was brilliant and Sarah looked at me and said "don't you give me that look!" she know's I'm broody, and she is too. But marriage first THEN the baby carriage! LOL

So Max, fatherhood? All it's cracked up to be? Damn Straight! Just make sure it's the right woman you're having a child with. I've seen more than my fair share of single mother's and the occasional single dads and while they can cope, and while they are happy I've always felt a sense of bitterness from them, however small, that they do not get to share the child with the other parent. Some are lucky and find a new partner to share it with which is brilliant, but I for one do not intend that to happen to me. So do not rush into fatherhood, but instead be sure you have found the right woman and do her proud first.

Emma - I am very glad you came back from the edge. I have a place in my heart for mental illnesses. I support MIND, a mental health charity who works solely in the UK to help people with depression, schizophrenia, SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) and other such things. I have worked on projects relating to this and I think all of us, at one time or another, have hit that low-point where everything seems wrong and the world hates us. I'm not saying that what I, and the others with some form of depression etc, can compare in any way to what you have been through personally (mine certainly can't) but it gives a form of empathy so that we can at least understand in part what your life must have been like. I'm glad you are out of that place, and I truly believe you are on the right road away from there at full-tilt.

Sam.

As I stood there at the age of 30 in the East Tilbury Village Hall looking at the 30 photos on the wall of me, one for each year of my life with my friend from Australlia Keith next to me. Keith said to me wow you have done so much in your life. I had never thought about that before and as we stood their I thought yes I have but I still have a few things yet to do.

So what had I accomplished:

1. I had graduated University the first male in my family to do so and the first Bates of my line of Bates to do so.

2. I had married a women who was to be the light and soul of my life. From her I learned hope, faith and charity. I love her more than anything in the world.

3. I had a son, who was by and large polite, pleasent and full of the love of life. He is my pride and joy and I both honour and respect him and whilst liek all of us he has faults his virtues far out way them.

4. I had by that time become a Teacher and was Head of my department.

5. I was chairman of Seaxe & Sorcery and I had table topped and LARPed with some of the best of them in the country.

6. I was a Dungeon Master and a very good one who was and still is asked to GM for groups all over the country.

7. I had the love and respect of my Parents who where by and large very pleased with me and who are still to the day very pleased and poud of their son.

8. By this time I had been a Cleaner, A Fruit Picker, A Youth Worker, A Project Worker, a Teaching Assistent and Teacher.

9. I had been a Member of the Red Cross Youth Movement since my 10th birthday until my 24th. With the red Cross I had been an assistent Youth Leader, a Youth Leader, A Youth Worker, I had from the age of 14 helped look after young disabled people again until I was 24 and had run my own youth centre. I was also the communications officer.

10. I had been a Historical Tour Guide, helped run a Gift Shop and met some very interesting and knowledgeable old men who I will never forget for the rest of my life.

11. I had organised and compared numerous public displays and I had well and truely started to write my own personal legend.

When I was 10 years old in the last year of my Junior School sitting in Mr Simkins class I wrote down a plan for the rest of my life up to 30 which for a 10 year old was quite a bit of planning. That letter inan envolope is somewhere in my fathers loft. I have met everything I intended to do. Much of it was what I have stated above.

What now what do I do post 30 I am now 36 soon to be 37 and I have drifted through my 30's with no real plan. I want my MA by the tiem I am 40, I want to have visited LARP groups in Europe, Canada and America. I want to be a Master Wizard and qualified in the arts of magick. I want to go on adventures and find the Ancient Forest of Elves before I pass away. What else I am not sure but I will achieve it. At 40 I intend to compile a Bucket List and then every year between 40 and 73 tick one of the items of. if I live beyound 73 I will descide what to do then.

I have had doubts and made mistakes but my achievements will last beyound me and I will be remembered. My son and daughter are the crowning achievements of my life so far and they will take my Legend on with them.

Perhaps I will write a book (most certianly), maybe I will find the elves I so long to find. I will do my best to honour my Father, my Grand Father and my Great Grand Father. I intend to forge strong links with both Kith and Kin, freinds and family and form something which will last way beyound my passing (Seaxe & Sorcery).

In the months after my 30th Birthday I became a Pagan, A Witch and a Chrisitian. In the follwoing year I became an apprentice Wizard and then a heathen and eventually a Druid of sorts. I am and always have been a teacher and a meddler and I think I would make my Atlantian ancestors proud.

Well what have I accomplished in my 35 years?

1. Lived, which considering my heart is no mean feat. I was born with a heart defect which while was known the risks were only realised when I was 7, just after turning 8 I had an operation which had at most a 20% chance of survival, even then it only had a 5% chance of coming out the other end normal and being able to survive until I was 16. I would note that everyone on my ward at the time of my operation was dead by the time I was 14.

2. I died, but I got better, I technically died (my heart stopped beating) while in intensive care for about two minutes. Obviously that didn't stop me, also while in hopsital my left lung collapsed meaning that I almost had to have another operation, and I had more x-rays in 48hrs than a person is safely allowed to have in their whole life span - possibly my super powers come from the massive amounts of radiation that coursed through my body.

3. I went to Palmers and met one of my lifelong friends.

4. I went to university and then dropped out (man).

5. In career to date I have been:

a. A published poet
b. A professional private detective (something I hold a diploma in)
c. A call centre operative for MFI
d. Worked for a merchant bank
e. Worked for a private bank
f. Worked for a retail stockbroker
g. Worked for the second largest Inter Dealer Broker in the world
h. Become a Compliance Officer for said IDB (again something I hold a diploma in)

6. Become a high taxpayer, indeed I fall into the top 5% of actual tax payers, rather than dodgers like actors, in the country, which with my IQ means I fall into two top percentages (top 3%, yes technically I am a genius).

7. Vistited three of the major continents on the planet.

Plans for the future:

What you mean the above isn't enough!!!!

1. House? I have a flat which suits me
2. Marriage? Such an outdated social (mostly Victorian by the way) construct, if it happens it happens.
3. Family? Again if it happens it happens
4. Travel? Well it would be nice to see the other continents
5. Money? Sure you can never earn enough money.
6. Writing? Yep always been a goal, maybe I should have taken that offer to promote my stuff worldwide.
7. Living for ever? Well thats the plan or die trying. I hear that there is a drug coming out in the next 5 years that could prolong life beyond 100. Bet that's going to be expensive!

Oh since people I discussing religion and stuff, I introduced Gary to a lot of his early pagan ideas - yes it is my fault! Not my bag these days.

Its good to see such a heart felt warming response in some of the posts.

I have to say, Emma's post and both Gary's got me a little teary.

Dave, i'm sincerely sorry life started off like that, although it wasnt my heart, I can sympathise quite heavily as I was born 6 weeks premature, and spent the majority of my young life in hospital. Like yourself by Dr's terms I wasnt really supposed to last this long, and part of that is one of the few reasons why I have always felt like i've been placed on a pedestal in my whole entire life to be someone important, and change this world, so far, in some small way, I'd like to have thought i've had some sort of impact.

I'm glad however you managed to fight the odds and pull through.

Emma - I deeply understand and offer my whole hearted sympathy for the stress you went through and the feeling of losing ones own mind, having gone through that myself, its not nice, and I'm sorry such had be-fallen you. You seem to be mucking through quite well now though Keep fighting the good fight.

A friend of mine once said to me some time ago, I don't suffer from Depression, I fight it every day, and those words have sort of stuck through in me ever since.

Thus Far, I'd like to say my most crowning Achievements thus far are as follows (Or moments of significant worth to me).

1. To have survived - Dave, I tip my non existent hat to you on this one, I'm glad you've pulled through, and in my own life, i've always felt similar, that my presence in this world was quite fortunate.
2. To have had the honour to be Baby Superman.
3. To have acted beside Farrah Fawcett (Bless her and I wish her eternal peace).
4. To have met, and spoke to Sooty and Sweep (Do you guys remember Sooty and Sweep? Oh the days).
5. During the young ages of Primary School and Secondary School, I had was fortunate enough to become a Championship Swimmer, and won medals for my Schools and Myself.
6. Aside from Swimming, I had won trophies for Chess tournaments and championships for young persons.
7. I then went on to have the honour to act as a young teen for the Royal Shakespeare Company.
8. To have met my Russian family, and experiance the difference of cultures all over the world.
9. Passed my College A levels with flying colours.
10. Proved to myself, that I had what it takes to keep up at University, getting a majority of 2:1's and the odd 1st, before deciding to leave with a University Diploma in Higher Education.
11. To have fought in countless video's doing professional sword fighting, including being on International News Several times, leading to the revival of my movie career.
12. To have had the honour to be in The Hunt for Gollum, and bring one dream which I thought I'd never have, and thats to be in a LOTR movie.
13. To have acted in Several adverts, and have been involved in four Large movies seen in the Cinema (Clash of the Titans, Robinhood, Gullivers Travels, and balls I forget the last).
14. To have Passed my Driving test, after over two years of trying, this was a truely life changing moment in my existence, and will always be remembered.
15. To have honoured my grand fathers passing, who was a Grand Master Freemason, and become A Brother of the Mystic Tie.
16. To have finally reached my dreams, and run my own Company, and the beginnings of my own Empire.
17. To be, at 24 and earning Enough in one years Business to be within the Higher Rate Tax Bracket. (I'm sure Gary and Dave will Agree on this, although some Countries are worse, 40% Tax Rate totally sucks).
18. To have finally seen, my father who has slaved and strived for my existence, to finally be a Multi Millionaire in Worth.
19. To see my father be credited as a world known Artist, sought after in Auctions and Galleries across the globe.

I know this seems rather ugh, but I mean this from the bottom of my heart:

20. To have met Seaxe, to have been a part of some excellent role playing, and influence me subliminally in so many ways.
21. To have had the honour to Meet Mick Earey, Mike Cooney, Greg Jones, Carey Beaston and Tom Stanfield and Keri Bates. Each of which I can honestly say I adore, and love, with all the respect they truely deserve.
22. To have met Gary. Gary, you have been both a keystone and a bane of my existence (when you throw plot my way!) But most importantly, to have been your herrald, to have called you friend, and to have been invited into your home has well and truely been an honour. When I have suffered great emotional turmoil, your homestead has been there in great times of need for me to recall and be a sanctuary away from home. Your influence in my existence has subliminally changed and pushed me forward in so many directions. To hear of your legends and adventures, has inspired me to do more with my own life.

One day Gary, I wish I could have a son like your own, and be able to put up with the stresses and politics which is your life on a daily basis.

If you had not become chairman, if you had not sacrificed your existence for what you love, and made something special for those of us, I may have not found my paths which have put me here today.

Both TheVikingStore, and I honour thee.

Indeed the posts already shown are very powerful, its amazing what you can learn about someone just from taking the time to talk to them, or in this case pay attention to their words.

My thanks go to you Max for your tribute, it always gets my lip wobbling to read these things, you have helped me far beyond I ever felt was possible, for all of my childhood I always craved a 'best friend' as it where. And although i did not meet you till I was 18 the saying better late than never comes to mind! I know you have a world wide friendship base and have no ime for such playground titles, but to me you are my best friend (Yuk eh? lol). Also as you know (and Emma to an extent) I spent most of my teen years drifting from group to group of people never feeling accepted or part of the 'gang' as it where leading to me sinking deep into depression and combined with my self recognised low self esteem and confidence issues led to me to three counts of attempting suicide.

This is where, most probably unbeknown to him, Gary has greatly helped also in conquering that feeling and to a lesser extent all the people who attend, I of course speak with regards to him making seaxe possible. Seaxe and Sorcery to me is not just a tri monthly meet up to run about in kit, it is a whole network of friends, dare i say family (Which i prefer a darn site more than my biological one), that I have never felt left out, shunned etc. And not even at work do I feel so welcome and warm. Thank you.

It is these two things combined that have helped me become the better person that I am now to what I was say three or so years ago or even since 11 really. Although this will be a short list in comparison, what with being only 21 and not having done much before i was 18 here goes.

1. My greatest achievement to me is split into two equal ones. Firstly, and chronologically, meeting who I would consider my best friend and brother in Max, and also a surrogate family in Seaxe. And secondly attaining my lifelong ambition of joining the Metropolitan Police.

2. Becoming confident, sounds strange I know, but i guess i was much like the like the lion out of the wizard of oz.

3. Getting better at talking to people. I know max will laugh as I am still pukka at massive social fopars, finishing with him saying "Oh, Greg...". However I used to be remarkably worse (Hard to believe i know lol) and am learning every day.

Unfortunately that is all that I would consider to be achievements, well of any not anyway. In retrospect however my plans for the future are alot longer.

1. Sad I know, but my number one goal is to find the love of my life, and hopefully be the love of hers. I have always seeked a companion to join in my adventures and quests, including those that contrary to popular jokes max cannot fulfill!

2. Combined with above would be to have a family, I wish to leave a legacy, to help guide my own sons and duaghters and to have lived.

3. To fulfill my dream 100% in becoming a Police Officer. Never fear though I would not be bent or an abuser of power, just will be the best I can be.

4. To pass my driving test and get a car. 4 seats and a steering wheel will do.

5. To see the world, specifically to visit Italy and travel the paths of my ancestors and discover the histories of the Roman Empire. Also to see New York and Japan.

6. To discover more of Roman Traditionalist Paganism, I feel I have heard the calling and seek to improve my knowledge daily.

These are the top 6 things I can think of at the moment, and I thank you for reading.

Friend, Roman, Countryman
Gregarus

well guys, im generally rather pants at this sort of stuff, not being given to talk about myself overly much and when i do it often sounds horribly pompous.

i guess on the crowning glories the top of the list has to be getting married and having rose as my child. being a dad scares the hell out of me at times but it is the most rewarding thing i have done so far. and my wife is my other half, complementing my strengths and mitigating my weaknesses. ive never really been big on the whole family thing, nor if im honest the friend thing either. a nomadic lifestyle generally tends to remove any wish to make deep or lasting friends. but i feel (mandatory soppy moment comming up) that at seaxe ive managed to make some good friends that i hope will last.

as for the rest of my oh so short life, i got into one of the (arguably) best universities in the country and am well on the way to graduating in a month and a bit. i have had a paper published in an academic journal (surprised me too) and am settling into my chosen speciality field in theology.

as for jobs, ive held senior positions in three hostals where i have been almost killed on several occasions, (God bless bullet proof[kind of] glass) and have managed to help people turn their lives around. im just now taking up the position of senior chaplain at the seamens rest in poplar with a staff and a budget as one of the senior management and 200 souls in my care.

and most importantly myself and my wife have been recommended for training in 2011 to become priests.

so basically, my life is going rather well. and im happy to be able to say that ive been lucky enough to have a good life so far.

ambitions... too many for my own good sometimes. but perhaps my biggest ambition is to be able to better control the sometimes darker nature of my soul.
i'd like some more children, a renowed accademic career and to be able to spend as much time as possible still living in the realms of fantasty and fiction. without rubber swords, life has less meaning.

chris